If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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