What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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Why did the man smell bad? He had not showered for several days

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Grace Ackerson

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops