What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Unfortually last night Andrew McNeil was studying soo hard that his head exploded and the next day at school, his friends found out and then cheered with laughter and happieness.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

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Siri, what is your definition of love? "Let me check on that...Here's what I've found." Google.com search = definition of love

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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