Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Why did suzy not eat her breakfast? because i stapled her to the table.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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