Maroon 5 to a bitch: Cross my heart and hope to die... wait why don't i just kill you bitch!

Is it hungry in here? Or is it just me?

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

How do you make a baby stop screaming? Pour acid down its throat.

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

Q: Why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Your question is fundamentally wrong. Religion is a collective hallucination.

a man walked into a bar and said ow

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1Kuo-n7Du0

How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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