You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

thumb_up thumb_down -5

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

thumb_up thumb_down -5

did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Your friend, George. Oh hi George, I'll be there in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Here's a joke for you, my life...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops