What did the dog get for Christmas? euthanization

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Yo momma's so fat, that she got baptised in Sea World.

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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School is like a boner. It is long and hard unless your asian.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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Why was the ginger crying? Because they used him as the fire hydrant.

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What happened to the frog that broke down? It got toad.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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what did the tree say to the person? nothing trees cant talk

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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