A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Tall asians

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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