Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A priest a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What ryhmes with turtle rape

thumb_up thumb_down -31

what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

So a man is in a car smoking weed when he forgets to crack a window so he over doses and dies. The car crashes and he kills 3 other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock, knock. Whose there? A Mountain Lion wait...what

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops