How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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what do you call a black guy falling down a hill? A hiker with an inconveniance you racist son of a bitch

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Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Nickelback

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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