What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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What was 6 affraid of 7? because 7 was black.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Your mother is so ugly, her genes were passed down through two generations, and now your children are of a similar caliber of ugliness. I'm so sorry.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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YOLO

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What do you call a black man and an Asian working in a field? You politely ask their names and then use them; their colour is of no consequence.

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KOOKABURRA

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What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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