whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Why do new moms put "BABY ON BOARD" stickers on the backs of their cars? No reason. Hitting someone's car baby inside or not is against the law and very dangerous for passengers of any age.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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why did bob fall off the swing Because he got hit by a microwave

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Whats the difference between a Bicycle and a duck? They Both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why didn't Jimmy ever get his butt of the couch? His butt was nailed to it and he was also dead. Why didn't his parents save him? they died before he did.

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Q: Why do sharks live in salt water A: Because if they don't the die from blood loss because their blood-cells swell up and explode in non- salty water.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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