How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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What's black and white and read all over? Half a zebra.

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Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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what is big round and fat? Your MOM

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There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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What is a kangaroos favorite desert? The outback

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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