Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

knock knock who's there Romney Romney Who? RON PAUL 2012

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A duck walks into a bar. In the middle of writing this joke I realized that there were already jokes like this so I stopped writing this one.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the girl fall over? She was poisoned for being the fairest one of all.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jersey Shore.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops