What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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