- Anti Joke

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Two women were sitting quietly.

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.