How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

Why did the deer cross the road? To cause the car crash that killed my father when i was just 15 years old.

Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

Why was the girl called stupid? She is mentally retarded...

Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Whats worse than a joke? This

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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