Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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what are three short words? i a am

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Joker: Knock knock Batman: Who's there Joker: Not your parents

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What do you do when a blonde falls up an elevator? Pray, and hope Jesus will take you as well. Just kidding, Jesus isn't real.

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There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops