What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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bologna

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What did Super man say when the bullets didn't hurt him? That didn't hurt.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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What's worse than the holocaust? The holocaust was one of the most terrible incidents in history there are very few things worse than.

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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Pianos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops