I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

Q: Who visits the dyslexic boy on christmas A: Satan

Why could't Jerry go to school on the Wednesday? Because he died on the Monday.

100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels.

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

Your friend says "Hi" What do you say back? You say "chunky salsa?" She said "what?" You think she knows you made out with her boyfriend last night. So... You blurt out " I'm SO sorry I made out with your boyfriend lastnight" Know.... Your dead meat.

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

Women's Soccer.

"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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