Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Red sky in the morning, Shepard's warning. Red sky at night, Shepard's Fulcrum.

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Tilt your screen back

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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Together we can get theist likes on anti-jokes :)

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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