Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats green and red green and red green and red? a frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +13

3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? Cooked until it reaches an internal temperature of 180 degrees Fahrenheit to lower the risk of contracting diseases such as salmonella.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +13

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

hey hey hey wanna hear a joke.....................................MENS IQ!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the black man buy a watermelon..... so he can eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Friend: Dude are you going to see the hunger games? Me: But i alreay seen it Friend: Dafuq? its not even out yet. Me: African children invented the hunger games. Friend: -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops