What has two legs? Half a cat

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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What did the dead man say to God? I'm dead.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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