Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

A Chinese man, a Mexican man and an African man walk into an American bar. None of them know any English and can not order a drink. They walk out promptly, frustrated by the difficulties of living in a strange new world where they don't speak the native language.

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

men, men like men= men+bed

roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

rabbits running in my bathroom!

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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