Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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Q: How many Marys does it take to drive you crazy? A: Just one ::stares at Mary Annoyingly::

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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Why didn't the disabled kid cross the road? He didn't make it.

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A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

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Whats two plus two Four!

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What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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