Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's half of 8? o

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Racial Equality

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what did the farmer do? plant

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Indians

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Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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