Jamie Oliver eats a chip

Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

So these two girls have a cup .

What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

I like that, but why am I happy?

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

Predators face looks like what? Pussy.

Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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