What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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Why did the black guy get hit by a banana He was low on potassium and his friend threw the banana too hard

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Why did the black guy get hit by a train? I strapped him to the tracks

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm allergic to both Now I'm dead

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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What's the easiest way to get a cat out of a tree? Call the fire department and allow them to safely reach the cat and properly extract it from the tree while you watch from below.

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Why did the girl cry when her boyfriend brought up the topic about rape? Because she was raped by her father as a child and it was a suppressed memory.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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