How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why do black people like watermellon? becasue it is a delicious red fruit at a wonderful price

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did the banana say to the orange? nothing because a banana is a fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

k

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Dinosaurs are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If your falling up a ladder and your canoe runs out of gas, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog houes? A. George Washington B. India C. Blue Answer: False

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A child walks into a bar. He finds to find his dad passed out in his vomit, the bartender realizes the dad left the kid in the car, and he is arrested. The kid grows up traumatized by the experience, and becomes a substance abuser just like his dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A german walks into a London Pub. He turns to the man on his left and says, " Hallo Kolleginnen und dort bar Mäzen. Ich bin gespannt zu sehen, ob wir eine Beziehung herzustellen, wie ich gesucht Gespräch, als ich in der wunderbaren Kultur, die London zu bieten hat. Ist das in Ordnung mit dir? Heil Hitler"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The moment where Perfect Cell returns declaring he has become "even more perfect" There is no level above perfect :P But sure Cell, strive to improve further on your "perfection", oh he is dead nevermind. Still my favorite character, narcissist, with a touch of class, and a sadistic personality, what more can you wish for?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops