What starts with F and ends with UCK? FUCK

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Who is buried in Grant's Tomb? DeShawn

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops