Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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Tim: Ya know what was wondering? Paul: What? Tim: Actually, I'm not wondering about it anymore.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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two muffins are in an oven and one turns to the other and says,'' hey, it sure is hot in here''. and the other one says," holy crap, its a talking muffin!''

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops