What did John name his dog? Doggy

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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