A dog is always in the pushup position.

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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What's the difference between Marvin Gay and George Straight. They are two different people

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What's the difference between two telephone poles? T-shirts! Because motorcycles don't have doors!

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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old people are like slinkies...they arent really good for anything but brings a smile to ur face when they're pushed down the stairs...just think about it ;)

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Why doesnt Santa deliver presents to black children Because santa doesnt exist

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Q.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.Finding seventeen worms in your apple.

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Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

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Get on the boat.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The The Who? The Beatles!

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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vote this down and i will DOX you

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He applied for a Visa and was granted authorization to live and work in the United States on a permanent basis.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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