A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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G

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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why did the man jump out of the plane without a parachute? Im not really sure, maybe to commit a slow and painful suicide.

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Put chromosomes in advertising. Because you know, Sex Cells

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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