Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What do you say when a black person is walking through wal-mart? Prisoner

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Because he was bringing food to support his wife and 3 kids whom were very hungry and needed it to survive.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Smelly Indians.

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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What did billy get after sex? Herpes

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My parents died!

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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When is a door not a door? Never.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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