Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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