Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the penguin say to the peacock? Die, you homosexual!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I asked her where you were.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What did the newborn dumpster baby say to the raccoon? A: Nothing. Newborn babies cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was a mother crying at a hospital? Because a bird threw a stick at her five minutes ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops