What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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Jemal picks 3 apples. He eats two of them, and then picks 3 more. What color was Jamal?

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Fox News

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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person 1: hey! guess what? person 2: what? person 1: i once saw a brown polar bear

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Want to hear an orphan joke? Knock Knock Who's there? Not the parents

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What is big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? Donald Trump

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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How many apples come from trees? None, not a single one of em'

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Why do They call a horse a horse? Because They speak English.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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