Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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G

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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A muslim walks out of a plane.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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What did the blind deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops