Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

NEVER

God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

There was a white kid named Tyrone.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

NASCAR being considered a sport.

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

Q: What do you call a girl with no arms or legs, is blind, has no parents, has cancer, and is dyslexic? A: Suzie

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

What did the pepper say to Mr. Peno? Hallo peno!

A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

What is the the mistake..... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

a man jumps of a cliff and ..... hits the ground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...