How many Druggies does it take to make toast. One.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Whats worse than having cancer? Nothing....

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noah is a scrub jungle

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A new scientific study has scientists baffled as it clearly shows that teen sex drastically decreases at age 20.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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