Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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How do you drown a blond? You hold her underwater.

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In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Did you know that Helen Keller had a swing set? neither did she.

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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Why'd the Squirrel fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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