How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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