A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Please don't shoot me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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I love pissing people off :P

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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vitamin c

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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What has wheels and is green all over? Grass... I was just kidding about the wheels.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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