don't do anything i wouldn't do first

whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

Neither have I, nobody knew him.

What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

What's the dumbest animal in the rainforest? A polar bear.

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

you give like i give lomain

AIDS

I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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