salad days!

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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hi

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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knock,knock you suck

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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While i was driving, my son asked, 'Have you had an accident in the last 5 years Dad?' And I replied, 'You're almost four now son'.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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