A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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What is 9+10? 19

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joe: guess what. Bob: what. Joe: nothing I just wanted to talk

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Why did the black man get sent to prison? He had committed many crimes and was finally caught by the police.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a rapist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Yo mamma so stupid... She's considering going to college to get a better education

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What happened to the man who went to a strip bar? What happens to all of us. He died.

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In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

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womans having rights.

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Why didn't the politically-correct lawyer laugh at his black neighbour's jokes? He had an incapacitating malady of oralfacialoaralysis rendering him unable to laugh or smile

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2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

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What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops