a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops