Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar... They then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, harmony and understanding between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, they truly can coexist, and decide to pursue peace among one another and the rest of society.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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What did the man do when he got home from work? Hit his wife.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Justin's life

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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