Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

thumb_up thumb_down -14

okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Take part of what?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

thumb_up thumb_down -14

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear about the Australian man who was jumped by a gang of Americans with knifes? He had his cash and possessions stolen from him, and had to spend two weeks in hospital due to stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

i want to watch t.v, how do u turn it on? idk, do u know how? idk either, i cant see or hear then y do u want to watch t.v wuts a tv?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops