Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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some magicians can walk on water, Chuck norris can swim in water, faster than the average man.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Why did the duly oppressed individual where sunglasses? Because the sun was bright.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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Pickles are moist.

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What's brown and sticky? Most forms of excrement.

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Knock Knock Who's there? ........

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Grass is green, Clouds are white.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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There once was a man from Nantucket, he was a very nice person and had many friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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