Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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What's big, brown, and full of crap? A septic tank.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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What does a black kid get from Christmas? a blunt

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Dolly Parton's bobbs are so fake that they both have silicone in them.

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haha black people :D

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What is Obamas favorite book? I don't know, ask him.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Yo' mamas so fat that your friend said a yo mama so fat joke to you. You were certainly not amused.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite TV show? She doesn't have one - She is blind and deaf.

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What did the man think of when he saw a squadron of military bombers flying over his home? The football game is about to start

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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rent a cops

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If you work at Penn State you might want to skip the annual "bring your kid to work day"

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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knock, knock who's there? boo boo who? sorry i dont know anyone named boohoo so get the hell off my lawn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops