Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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Why did the pedophile skip breakfast? He said that he would grab a little something on the way to work...

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops