CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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